The Grand Old Party

Here are some things Republican party leaders think should be scrapped from Obama's stimulus plan, for being too wasteful:

$448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters.
(They must hate freedom, huh?)

$600 million to buy hybrid vehicles for federal employees.
(Why would we want to spend $600 million to clean up our vehicle fleet and help out Detroit?)

$400 million for the Centers for Disease Control to screen and prevent STD's.
(Their abstinence only education programs don't work. This seems vital to me.)

$1.4 billion for rural waste disposal programs.
(Can't people living in York and Loma Linda just throw it out their back window? The coyotes and javelinas could eat it, right?)

$150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities.
(Pfft, museums are completely unnecessary. Great civilizations like the Greeks and the Egyptians never would have spent money on museums or libraries or monuments.)

$1 billion for the 2010 Census, which has a projected cost overrun of $3 billion.
(The Census is Constitutionally required. Totally wasteful.)

$75 million for "smoking cessation activities."
(Forget skyrocketing health care costs, prevention is for sissies.)

$200 million for public computer centers at community colleges.
(The Google is just a liberal brainwashing tool.)

$650 million for wildland fire management on forest service lands.
(Can't imagine their lobbyists in the logging companies are too happy to hear they consider this wasteful.)

$1.2 billion for "youth activities," including youth summer job programs.
(Hey, that's probably me!)

$160 million for "paid volunteers" at the Corporation for National and Community Service.
(Yep, also me.)

$850 million for Amtrak.
(Only communists ride trains.)

You can check out the full list here, at CNN.com.

Good job, guys! You figured out how to shave $20 billion. $20 billion out of eight or nine hundred billion. That's, uh, a quarter of a percent. Those Democrats won't bankrupt the country on your watch, no sirree.

That $20 billion will buy us about two months of war in Iraq.