You know who I don't like? George Lucas.

The original Star Wars trilogy is a legacy. I've even heard the claim made that it's scripture to some, because dorks like me compare everything to Star Wars. It changed movies forever, and it became the archetypal hero's quest that would compare to Arthurian myth.

Enough of that. You all know I love Star Wars, and you all know that you should love Star Wars, whether you do or not. It deserves a certain reverence. A reverence which George Lucas will not afford it. He did enough to strip the Star Wars name of its dignity with the deplorably stupid Episodes I and II, but now he's raping the original trilogy.

In case you hadn't heard, Lucas decided to replace the image of Sebastian Shaw at the end of Return of the Jedi with Hayden Christiansen. You know, the part with the Force spirits of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anakin at the end of the movie? Well, now instead of being the three coolest Jedi, it's two of the three coolest Jedi plagued with the presence of the whiney, moronic, undignified prettyboy that did the impossible: he made Darth Vader look like a loser. Darth Vader was the most menacing, intimidating bad guy ever, and Lucas and Christiansen combined forces with that stupid kid from Episode I to reduce Vader to some screaming emo simpleton who never could have risen to the Emperor's right side.

What does Lucas have to say about it? He says he wanted the Force spirit to be of Anakin before he fell to the dark side. Lucas is an idiot. The redemption of Darth Vader was one of the most pivotal parts of Star Wars, and Lucas seeks to discredit that. I think maybe he and Hayden Christiansen are going steady now or something. Not that there's anything wrong with that. All the same, he should exhibit some reverence to the original trilogy. At very least, it elevated Lucas to his fame and fortune, and Lucas should be more grateful.

This has been a long time in the making. First, he messes with the footage so Greedo shoots first, and Han looks like both an idiot and a saint. He was neither, originally. He fried that foolish Rodian like an onion ring before Greedo knew what was going on. Next, he releases Episode I, which was quite possibly the biggest kick in the nuts to Star Wars fans ever, between the juvenille dialogue, the lame plot, the miserable acting, poor characterization, Jar Jar Binks, and that stupid little kid. Episode II came next, and at least this time, we didn't expect much. Just when we thought the characterization of Anakin Skywalker couldn't get any worse, enter Hayden Christiansen. His lines were stupid, his acting was incompetent, the scenes between he and Natalie Portman were utterly unbearable, and he really didn't do anything that lived up to the veneration Obi-Wan Kenobi gave him in A New Hope. Then there's the young Boba Fett. In case destroying the credibility of Darth Vader wasn't bad enough, Lucas decided to ruin the other coolest bad guy. "Let's get him, Dad." AUGH!

Now this. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.